We all carry baggage from past relationships, whether it’s from a past love, friendship or even a family member which inevitably comes into the new relationship with us. And, it can affect everything we do.
What we fail to realise, however, is that by bringing old and unnecessary emotional baggage into a new relationship, we’re often burying past pains and hurt deeper inside of us.
We never really have any idea what is going on for the other person when we get into a new relationship. In the beginning, things are usually at an all-time high and no one is really thinking about anything other than love and lust. But as the relationship progresses, when intimacy begins to deepen and things start to “get real,” the emotional issues of both partners tend to surface. We can either avoid what’s going on (and have it come out later, somehow) or we can deal with it, work through it, and see what kind of positivity the outcome brings
Divorce or break-ups are sometimes unavoidable—but these strategies are often used as an escape from feeling the pain and hurt we have experienced. If we have avoided, or have been unable to, resolve these past relationship hurts, then we hang on to the emotions which then get stirred up by present circumstances.
The reasons we hold onto this baggage is different for everyone. We might use it to shield us from future hurt, we might use it to help propel us into action, we might use it to allow us to feel certain emotions and we might use it to keep us from moving forward. Any negative action, motivated by the baggage we suppress is not serving us or the relationship.
True love, isn’t supposed to be pure bliss all the time. A new love has come into our lives and whatever fears and challenges surface, are there ready for us to resolve them.
It’s when it feels like things can’t get any worse, we need to remember all the reasons why we decided to get together in the first place. Those reasons are hopefully still there and worth fighting for — you just have to put things in perspective.
At the end of the day, it takes both parties in a relationship to make things work, but only one to start the process. More than anything, being able to unpack those bags will make your relationship stronger in the end.
Rob is highly credentialed to provide you with the strategies to have the relationship you have always desired. Contact Rob for an obligation free consultation to start your journey towards a fulfilled and successful relationship.