Think about what you do when you discover a problem and you are trying to fix it. How likely is it that you will ...
1. Become aggressive and try to find out who caused the problem?
2. Put pressure on those involved to make them admit they did something wrong?
3. Find ways to punish the person or people who did something wrong?
4. Make sure those involved the best solution possible and put it into action?
5. Find out who did the wrong thing and make everybody knows who it was?
6. Walk away, do something else while you try to work out what to do now?
7. Work with those involved to change how things are done so the problem can’t happen again?
8. Work with the people involved to find the best solution possible?
Think of what it is like when you and your partner are working together. How likely that in this situation you will ...
1. Be of service to each other?
2. Take the time to listen intently to each other?
3. Focus on really understanding each other?
4. Feel a sense of deep love, enjoyment and pleasure in doing something together?
5. Disagree with each other about something and then find you cannot continue working together on this?
7. Find working together to be a mutually satisfying time that is totally joyful?
6. End up in an emotional major conflict that cannot be resolved at this time?
8. Find the experience to be a challenging time that you do not like?
Think of times when you and your partner are alone, with no one else around. How likely is that you will ...
1. Feel contended and satisfied?
2. Feel fearful and careful not to provoke an argument?
3. Talk with each other about the obstacles the relationship has to deal with?
4. Talk openly and confidently together about the things you are dealing with?
5. Interact with each other to help you both achieve what you each want to achieve?
6. Feel excited and invigorated just from being in each other’s presence?
7. Feel a deep sense of love for both yourself and your partner?
8. Just talk to each other because you enjoy talking together
Think of what it is like when you and your partner are communicating together. How likely is it that you ...
1. Are both interested in what each other has to say?
2. Have an arguments that you are unable to resolve?
3. Have heated discussions where you talk loudly in order to get your point across?
4. Just stop talking and go into silence when you are unable to agree on something?
5. Feel uncomfortable yet you just pretend things are OK when in fact they aren’t?
6. Use abusive and/or derogatory language to put each other down as a way of proving your point?
8. And/or your partner become very forceful as one or both of you tries to insist that the other agrees to a particular point of view?
7. Make each other wrong when one or both of your have a views that the other believes to be the wrong thing?