Well here’s an “AH HA” moment for you!  Everything in your life expresses something about you — your friends, your family, your lover/s, your money, your job, your work colleagues, the things you do, the things you have and the way you relate to yourself.

In everything there is a message that’s for you and is about you.

So when things are going well, the message your getting is something like, “Things in your life that you are focused on fit together nicely and are in harmony with each other.”

Whereas when problems come up, these are telling you the opposite; something in your life doesn’t fit so well and is throwing your life into disharmony and out of balance.

What you’re also being told is that there’s something that has to change so your life can get back into balance.

When you have problems you can either bury your head in the sand and hope they go away or deal with with the underlying cause.  I guarantee if you don’t deal with the underlying cause then  you are going to get more and more struggle in your life. Problems love it when you leave them alone because they get to grow bigger and take more and more control as they get to be more and more difficult — week-in week-out, month-in month-out, and year-in year-out!

Yet for so many people NOT dealing with problems is the preferred option, why? Because it is the easy option.  If you have a really big problem in your life, I can almost guarantee that it started out small and that as a small problem you didn’t bother to fix it. Why should you? After all it’s only small and pretty easy to put up with.

And of course, the longer you leave it, the bigger it gets, the more toxic is grows and the more difficult it is to deal with.

This is what happens to so many intimate life-long relationships that turn out not to be so life-long. The partners hold on to their belief that they are fine, and when they realise they aren’t so fine, then they decide that their partner is to blame. This is a set of strategies that we class as ‘no hope!”

It’s also the mindset which is at the grass roots of nearly every failing relationship. “It’s not my fault it’s theirs … I can’t fix it because it them”

When a relationship become entrenched in this sort of mindset, basically it is doomed to turn destructive.

So what do you see in your partner that just has to change? What does your partner need to do so your relationship can keep getting better? Look very hard, be super critical and when you find it … find it in yourself also, focus on yourself and fix it in yourself.

Once you do this a strange thing happens … suddenly whatever you see it in your partner, those things that mattered, no longer cease to matter.  The key to a long and happy relationship!