There are many factors that lead to the demise of a relationship. Resentment eats away at a person’s well-being. The resentful person becomes unhappy, works less effectively, and pushes people away. It’s often stated that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Resentment, anger, and fear are all connected. You may overreact to fairly innocent things your partner says or does because it triggers a memory from a past relationship.
The thing about resentments is…they’re sneaky. They lie dormant, hidden just below our conscious mind until something prods them awake. Resentment and anger often go hand in hand and are equally toxic emotions that may make people feel in control — yet they are actually giving up control to others.
Resentment is an emotion that takes more forms than you realise. If you’re recycling the same anger over and over again without resolving it, the chances are strong that you’ve got a big case of the resentments. Overreactions usually points toward a resentment or unresolved issue within us. It generally has zero to even do with the person who triggers it, and we then blame.
Resentment is also often tied to regret and guilt, the sensation of anger or misery in response to a belief that something crucial has not been done.
Resentment lives inside us, feeding on our negative feelings and emotions. It becomes stronger the longer it is ignored. It can mutate and develop into a warped veil, which prevents us from seeing the world from a healthy, balanced perspective.
If you have begun to separate from your partner and retreat behind your emotional walls then your relationship is at risk. It is often easier to bury feelings with negative emotions to avoid conflict, but those same negative emotions will arise as the resentments are brought to light.
So how do you resolve what happened in the past? It’s a process. It may get worse before it gets better. It requires a great deal of willingness and an open mind. There has to be that clearing, being honest and open, before resolution is possible. Resentful relationships don’t fix themselves; but if you’re willing to put in the work, anything can be resolved.