Many people think that an affair signals the end of a relationship. This is simply not true. Infidelity causes intense emotional pain, anger, disbelief, fear, guilt, shame; but an affair doesn’t have to mean the end.
Although resolve and healing from infidelity can be extremely challenging, most relationships not only survive, but can actually grow from the experience.
In actual fact, those who find themselves dealing with a cheating partner can take heart from Relationships Australia’s Relationships Indicator 2011 report. It cites infidelity as the reason behind only 11 per cent of couples separating or divorcing, implying that cheating is easier to overcome than financial difficulties, which, at 26 per cent, is the leading cause of break-ups.
Trust is an essential element to any relationship. This lies at the heart of a strong relationship. But, once that trust has been abused, it can be very hard to rebuild that into the relationship. But, if you want your relationship to survive, you have to deal the situation that triggered this betrayal.
Infidelity points to underlying problems in your relationship. To do this, you need to delve deeply into your relationship, and yourself, to really understand what has contributed to the affair happening. Blaming your partner for your unfaithfulness or blaming your partner because they were unfaithful is not constructive in any way. There are many reasons why the affair happened, each one unique to the individuals within the relationship.
Those who do make it through tend to possess two qualities: a genuine commitment to the relationship and a willingness to show remorse and accountability on the part of the person who has acted outside of the implicit and explicit relationship agreements. Also necessary is a willingness to forgive (this may take some time) by the person who feels betrayed.
It helps to get help. Beyond talking with those who have experienced infidelity in their own relationship, it is very important to get professional help. Feelings that surface after the discovery of an affair are often so overwhelming that it is difficult to know what to do to begin to get the relationship back on track.
The process of healing deep emotional wounds of mistrust, betrayal, sadness, loss of confidence is arduous but worth the effort and having someone who is empathic and experienced in working at this deep level is very important. Having worked with hundreds of relationships where infidelity has been a major issue, Robert empowers couples to navigate the quagmire of infidelity and betrayal in their relationship.
You can discuss what your options are and plan an avenue of resolve, free of charge, with Robert. Click on the Book an Appointment tab to the right of this post.