Of course I’m ready for love! I just haven’t found the right person yet! In reality, it’s not that simple.  The reason that so many relationships fail is that people haven’t done the work of getting ready by cleaning up and clearing out past demons – big and small.

These past demons can be previous broken relationships, financial disasters, family members who need support, unresolved trauma from childhood, personal characteristics that have consistently attracted doomed relationships.

No one can start anew if they haven’t dealt with the ghosts of the past. Whilst prior losses will certainly carry into the present, negative past experiences are not the problem— not resolving them, is.

So, while it is very valuable to make a list of, and to have clarity about, what you want in a partner or relationship, it is also very important to know what you have to offer.  If you have doubts about your self and what you can give, you will be unable to fully commit to someone else.

The more you understand yourself and how to love and appreciate yourself, the better you will be at understanding another person and be open to love unconditionally. And when you’re happy with who you are, you are able to give love uninhibited and you won’t be concerned about whether it’s good enough or you’re good enough.

Relationships require a lot of work, and rarely is any of the work on the other person. Too often, we externalise the root issues of our conflicts with others. Instead of pressuring the other person to change, we get better results if we change ourselves.